


In loneliness, the Dyad shines bright

by Nexys



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst/Comfort, Angst/Fluff, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Bendemption, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ben needs a hug, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Redemption, One Shot Collection, One Shots not linked, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, Short, Tragic Romance, What If Ben Solo didn't die?, sfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24111811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nexys/pseuds/Nexys
Summary: Loneliness is an incurable disease, an overwhelming feeling, an incessant pain. On the opposite sides of the galaxy, two tormented souls are united by a bond that goes beyond imagination. Beyond space and time, Rey and Kylo Ren manage to give each other a support that challenges the opposing factions of which they are the legitimate representatives.One shot collection inspired by prompts found on leneemusing's Tumblr blog.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Monster

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot collection was inspired by prompts I found on leneemusing's Tumblr blog.

#1. “ ** _I know I’m a_** ** _monster_** ** _, but you look at me like a man_** ”.

There are endless days in which wearing the robes and the Kylo Ren's mask is heavier than usual.   
When suddenly a fake quiet falls like the night on the First Order ship, the shadow of Ben Solo peeps out from under the threatening helmet that he usually wears to deny the past.

He couldn't sleep that night, only vegetate in a turbulent waking state that would almost certainly leave him exhausted the next day. Images on images were alternating in his tired mind, preventing him from finding peace; as if that had been yet another curse hanging over his head, he continued to see himself killing his father after deceiving and betraying him. He retired to the sweat-soaked sheets of bed for the effort that those nightmares required, while the metal walls of his room were shaking because of the disorder in the Force he was helping to create. With clenched teeth, he saw himself in an eternal loop of despair; he had convinced himself because of Snoke, that taking away his father's life, that sense of oppression that he had inside his chest - since he was gone - would vanish. He had believed that it would be enough to feel him die, to find peace and to be able to embrace the dark side once and for all.  
 _What an unforgivable mistake he had made._  
His father's betrayed expression was etched in his mind like a brand in focus. The last caress he had left on his face burned like a red-hot burn, as if to remind him of the wicked act he had performed in the name of the darkness of which he had made himself a spokesman.  
The nightmare broke only when the painful echo of his father's voice rang in his mind, intent on calling him by his first name for the last time.  
"Ben...".

He sat up with shortness of breath and broken by panting pain. With one hand tight on his bare chest, on his heart, he tried to plug the physical suffering he felt because of what must have been a night panic attack. Closed in his aseptic room, Ben had let himself be discouraged in realizing that he had made an unforgivable mistake, yet another along his damned path. He took his sweat-beaded face in his hands, pulling his messy hair back. The violent trembling he felt in the Force was his alone.  
"What did I do..." he murmured defeated, unable to close his eyes in the face of the memories of the happy family he had had in his youth. His mother and father had loved him, just as he had loved them in turn. Still, he had fled to find shelter in the bloody hands of Snoke, who had promised him glory, revenge and infinite power. Not even seeing his grandfather's glorious helmet was able to fill the void he felt inside: he had turned into an unscrupulous patriarch, then ending up regretting it when it was too late.  
 _Han Solo was dead._

Suddenly, however, really unexpectedly, the Force found a mild balance. Kylo Ren looked up into the void of his room, only to be able to distinguish the evanescent figure of the scrap-seeker he tried so much to despise, failing miserably every time. She was there, in front of his bed with her hands folded in her lap, watching Ren's fall, in favor of the young Solo.  
"Rey..." the man murmured, too shaken to even think of sending her away. She was in his mind, he could feel her in his heart taking charge of his sufferings. Despite everything, she was there with him. "What are you doing here?" He asked, forgetting for a moment the abstruse randomness of the bond that united them.  
The girl gave him a small grimace, which even in dim light highlighted her freckles. "I can't sleep.", she admitted, nodding his assent - understanding? - from the man.  
“I had a nightmare where I heard you scream. You were screaming in pain. My heart broke... " she added, looking away to bite her lips. Ben startled with a tremor, giving her a shocked look. She had heard, she was _listening_.  
"Yup. I can feel everything as if I had done it for you... I can't breathe. ", she murmured slowly, approaching his bed only to be able to get on the mattress on her knees, always in front of him. "I can't...".  
With clenched teeth, Ben got down on his knees in front of her, with his hands on his thighs, and a guilty expression painted on his face.  
“You called me a monster. I really am. My hands are dirty with the blood of my father... ”, _and many other innocent ones,_ he murmured in a hoarse voice, made hard by shortness of breath. Rey pursed her lips: she couldn't really hate him, although she had seen Han die before her eyes. She couldn't because the pain he felt was authentic, and what Ben kept silent was the excruciating lament of a son deceived by evil, believing himself abandoned and unworthy of being loved.  
The warm touch of Rey's hand replaced any word. Ben held her back by closing his eyes.  
"Despite this, you are here."  
 _You are here to observe me as if I wasn't a monster, but only a man, a fragile man._ When he opened his eyes, Rey gave him a half smile.  
 _Always, Ben._


	2. Dimples

#2. “ _ **Sometimes when you look at me it’s like... it’s like you’re staring straight past my flesh and into my soul**_ ”.  
  
  


Without even knowing why, her senses had led her to Tatooine. She got into an X-wing fighter and headed into the unknown following the call of the Force. That same Force that she was gradually learning to discover, and of which she was so afraid that would not let her sleep at night. That’s what could easily be called a bad start on the Jedi path.  
  


After endless hours spent walking in the scorching desert that covered more than three quarters of the planet, she had sat on a rock in the shadow of an imposing plateau, in a vain attempt to enjoy a milder temperature. Not that it was really a problem for her, since she was born and lived on Jakku, a hostile planet with eternally arid weather conditions.  
Accommodated in the best and best way, she let her gaze get lost towards the uncertain horizon; the sandstorm that loomed in the distance made its margins confused, but it was not an important detail for her. Her eyes were elsewhere, as was her mind and perhaps even her heart. She had decided to exile herself for a single day in order to collect the ideas - the pieces of herself that fate had chopped up with every disappointment or injury she suffered - but the forced solitude had done nothing but fuel the restlessness that she felt in her soul . She felt alone, but deep down in her consciousness she wasn't sure she really was. If she concentrated, in the background to that strange and unusual sensation she could see the darkness of a pair of familiar eyes. A look that even from afar, in total absence, constantly pierced her without any mercy.  
The face that took shape once accepted to recognize that look was that of Kylo Ren, the traitor son of General Organa and Han Solo, born and baptized with the name of Ben. His piercing eyes were windows capable of hiding an entire universe studded with indecipherable intentions, but also of making her feel small and fragile. Dark as the darkest night, the same night he himself had fallen into, they looked at her as if they could have passed through her, undressed her, dismembered her and burned her.  
 _If the looks could kill..._  
Ever since she had met his grim frown the first time they met and clashed, something in her had inevitably changed; Kylo Ren had remained etched in her mind, and although distant from him she was sure that he was always present, in silence, to scrutinize her.  
The problem was that he had not always looked at her only with inexplicable resentment, but also with interest, an unknown interest that she could not understand even by trying. Behind that barrier that was Ren's gaze, there was a world that she had only been able to touch. Ben was an unknown world hidden under a blanket of hatred as thick as the universe and she could not postpone the contrast that carried inside her head, her soul and her heart. If on the one hand being looked at by him made her uncomfortable, on the other she almost felt flattered.

Behind his eyes there was an understanding that no one had addressed. She was nothing but a nameless scavenger, yet worthy of perhaps wrong as well as dangerous attention. But most of all, Kylo Ren showed without restraint that he wanted to understand her, perhaps accept her.  
She ran a dry, cracked hand across her face, divided between her thoughts without being able to get over it. Ben's face stood out with arrogance at the bottom of her conscience and she could perceive every aspect of him as if she had had him in front of her, almost until he touched him.  
He was a young man, with the marked expression of someone who suffered without being able to do anything to prevent it, the weight of a perhaps unfair fate. Concentrating, she noticed details that she might not have had time to grasp live; like the dimples on the sides of the mouth, which perhaps would have been more pronounced if he tried to smile. She wondered what his smile might be like, or if he ever had, at least before becoming an unscrupulous beast, or almost.  
She stood up shaking her head to escape those sterile and meaningless thoughts. Daydreaming about the enemy, about a man who was refusing to be saved, meant wasting time. She collected her saddlebag and the pieces of herself that she had scattered along the road, and at a safe pace she resumed her journey to return to her spacecraft, ready to return to the base.

On the other side of the universe, Kylo Ren was forced to take a breath after feeling the intensity of the feelings of that scrap-seeker. He could not explain what had happened, or if what he had heard was authentic, but he had seen himself again in her emotions. Rey was upset but there was also something else, something unknown.  
Unconsciously, under the threatening helmet, Ren curved his lips in a half smile, marking the _dimples_ that the girl had dedicated herself to appreciate.


End file.
